HIStory: Sunday, March 11, 2007

Would you take your kids to see this play?

We'd just finished the second day of previews for Rabbit Hole at the Goodman - having only run the show through once properly just the evening prior - where I played a teen who'd mowed down a four-year-old with his car (family piece...rated G), and I was coming into the lobby to meet up with my friend Kareem who had come to see me that night, presumably with our friend Konstantin. Konstantin never showed and after handshakes and such, Kareem handed me the phone with Konstantin on the other line for apologies and to set up another time for him to come and see the show.

Literally had just put the phone up to my ear when this lady in a beige canvas hat (long, straight hair at the time) sidles up next to us and says, "Hey, I'm sorry to interrupt. I know you're on the phone but I just wanted you to know I think you did a great job."

The attraction must've been instant, because I don't remember doing a whole lot other than trying to get off the phone for the next minute. I gave her the single-finger-hold-on-a-minute salute and tried to tell Konstantin not to worry and we'd get him another ticket for the following week. She seemed seconds away from leaving (I gleaned this from her waiting dance as she shifted weight back and forth between her feet) so I think I abruptly ended the call with something like an "Okaygottagobye."

We talked for a minute and being the...suave?...shamless self-promoter?...oddity that I am, I invited her to come see me in Huck Finn which I was also doing during the daytimes for just one more week. She accepted, provided I could wait a week. I couldn't. She was off to New York and the show would close that coming weekend. So, my plans to have us meet up again failed me...for the last time (foreboding?).

Oh, supposedly during this conversation I met her playgoing companion, Jen. Don't. Remember. This. At. All. Many apologies, Jen. Though your hunt for a water fountain and subsequent weak bladder may have been responsible for bringing us together I couldn't've placed you there that first night if I tried. Kinda cute...kind of a jerk...I guess I only had eyes for Blair, and it's all turned out well as I've met Jen many times since then.

After a brief encounter (a very fine film, consequently) we parted ways without exchanging phone numbers or anything other than a, "Good job, again," and "Thanks."

Almost two weeks later I was checking my emails and such in the bowels of the Goodman at our stage manager's computer when I found a message from Blair via facebook. And it's Blair that I can thank for allowing facebook to become an important part of my social networking life, because before that message I really didn't use the thing at all. Little did she know I'd been searching for her on myspace for the past week or so, but didn't contact her. Nobody wants to seem like a stalker.

What followed was a little over two weeks, including her ten-day stint in Germany (and don't think I didn't try to work the old "I was born there," charm on her) of hint-dropping and trap-baiting to gauge whether or not she had any interest in me. We made great pen pals.

Of course, being the considerate gent that I am, I arranged for our first date to be the night she got back...off of an eight-hour plane ride...into a cab...only to walk around the street trying to find out where Mackenzie parked her car...to drive down to the Goodman to find parking. Kinda cute...kind of a jerk. Theme? Tush.

And yes, being the goons that we are our first date was at the Goodman, which was also where I popped the question (more on that later). After a thoroughly unmemorable play we went over to the Elephant & Castle for food and drink and I finally let her go home to bed sometime after 1pm.

To make an already too long story shorter, I will say that, save a month here and a few days there, we've spent every single day of the last year and month together and she still hasn't gotten bored with me. Lord knows why.

And that's how a simple story of vehicular manslaughter helped build a happy relationship.

"Well, ma'am...truth is...the first time I hit the kid was an accident...after that..."